9.19.2013

National Singles Week

 

As I was watching Kathy Lee and Hoda yesterday morning, like I do every morning, I was informed it's National Singles Week! Oh yippie! Another reminder I'm single! Am I supposed to celebrate sleeping alone every night? Cooking dinner for one? And being the fifth wheel? I've seriously been the fifth wheel for so long and dated so many Jewish guys my brother-in-law nicknamed me Wheel Goldstein. True story.

Oh wait, that's right, I'm supposed to celebrate that I am a "Strong I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T Woman!". At the end of the day it has been my decision to put my career and traveling before relationships, which I do not regret for one second. So instead of getting mad at someone for making up this ridiculous holiday that lasts an entire week, I will use it as an excuse to go out and get drunk. I am going to treat myself to a early weekend and go on a three day drinking binge. It just so happens this weekend is also the opening weekend of Motley Crue's Residency at the Hard Rock. Coincidence? I think not! I have also decided that if I have to celebrate this holiday again when it rolls around next year I am going to do what Carrie Bradshaw did Sex in the City. I am going to register at all my favorite stores and throw myself a "I'm fabulous and SINGLE!" party. All of my friends have received gifts for one of the following...baby showers, engagement parties, bridal showers and weddings! Where are my presents for supporting myself my entire life and not contributing to our already overflowing school system? I am putting my foot down right now! Well not right now. Next year I'll put my foot down. Now I drink! Till then...

"She got her own house, She got her own car. Two jobs, work hard, you a bad broad." - Lil Webbie

2 comments:

  1. Single and ready to mingle!

    cool shit!

    luv,

    Mr. Mishmola

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just do what you are doing and don't worry about it.

    ReplyDelete